Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
