just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
