VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
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