If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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