that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
