you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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