a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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