Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
