In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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