After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
