how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize