My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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