I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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