Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
