i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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