If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
