Im at strip club and am horny
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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