I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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