I think scott just propositioned me for sex
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
