I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
