I just pynch a tree in the face
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
