I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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