Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
