I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
