Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
