Dual....:-)
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
