I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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