she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
