My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
