That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
