so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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