Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
