Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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