I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
