i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
either way he was missing a nipple.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
