Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
