i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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