woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
