Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize