Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
