Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
