I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
