ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
