Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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