i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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