I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
high people should be assigned attendants
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
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