Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
