called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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