I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize