I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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