Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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