We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
this beer tastes like vomit already
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
