marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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