I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Life is so much better after having sex.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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