At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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