what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
