Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
