jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
