the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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