farters have to be the big spoon...
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
