just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
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